WHY DO MEN HIDE?
Why do men (or masculine people) withdraw into themselves, become angry, or focus on work, hobbies, or even have other relationships?
When everything is great, a man or masculine person will be so happy. When problems happen they take great pleasure in fixing them. They enjoy feeling responsible and the only thing they truly want from their partner is to see that their partner is so happy because of them. It's their partners smile that lights them up. That makes them feel like they are on top of the world.
But if a partner takes control over their man out of frustration, or starts to say things that are negative about their man, he will not see it as a test of his love. He will not see it as an opportunity to show you how much he cares. Instead a man or masculine person will feel disempowered and will seek solace elsewhere. He will close up to avoid the pain this causes him.
If your man is not present in the way you need him, it is because he feels incapable of making you happy. If you want it to work, show him that he can still make you smile, be the one for you, and watch as he comes running back home.
If he doesn't think he can make you happy, and someone else smiles at him, what do you think will happen next?
Underneath all of these behaviours men still want to be loved and to love just the same as anyone else, they just don't show it in the same way.
There are 5 stages to building Trust and Respect and to rebuilding a relationship:
1. Commit and Declare to your partner that their needs come first. Say things like...
"I love you too much to argue with you" "I don't want to hurt us" "I'm hurting and can only imagine how much you must be hurting too" "I love you and I will take care of you no matter what" Or "I love you and all I need is for you to take care of me"
2. Create Heartfelt Emotion
Generate feelings for reconciliation. Get into your heart and think about what your partner really needs. Avoid being in your head where the doubt and hurt and judgementalism resides.
3. Share, Listen, Learn - Only love back
Ask your partner to share every doubt they have but as they speak only love them back. Be present and love back No Matter What They Say.
4. Align and create a compelling future.
Talk about what you will both do differently and why. How will it make you feel? What will you do? Why do you want that?
5. Act of love.
At this stage how can you both show how you feel? If not yet possible go back to 1.
These steps are designed to move your Relationship from a place of distrust, a place of emptiness, or of a feeling of a dead relationship to one of complete joy, compassion and understanding, passion, and presence.
If you want to know more then BOOK a FREE Life Coaching Discovery Session with me to see what Life Coaching could do for you.